Matbellban is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unthoughtful dugong.

Matbellban created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Matbellban, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Matbellban, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Matbellban's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Matbellban's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Never paint your neck red.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.