Quamfagcam is a god.
He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, smart
squirrel.
Quamfagcam created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Quamfagcam, he will look on you favourably.
If you do not believe in
Quamfagcam, he will turn you into a duck.
Quamfagcam's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.
Quamfagcam's Holy Commandments1. You must love Quamfagcam.
2. Hide from brown tapirs for they are unholy.
3. Always look after injured manatees.
4. Always wear mauve.
5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Quamfagcam in the centre of the settlement.