Flownurlmat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, grumpy turtle.

Flownurlmat created carbon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flownurlmat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flownurlmat, she will turn you into a frog.

Flownurlmat's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Flownurlmat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry swans.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Never talk about spacetime.

4. Do not kill snakes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.