Podtik is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, pitiless zebra.

Podtik created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Podtik, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Podtik, she will curse you with boils.

Podtik's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Podtik's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

3. Do not keep three turtles in a large pit.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away if six mice approach from the south.