Saffigpag is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, prudent manatee.

Saffigpag created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saffigpag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Saffigpag, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Saffigpag's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Saffigpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Saffigpag loves birds, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.