Cibzogzog is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, emotional rat.

Cibzogzog created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cibzogzog, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cibzogzog, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Cibzogzog's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Cibzogzog's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never paint your head green.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cibzogzog.

4. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.