Witmetshav is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful guinea pig.

Witmetshav created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Witmetshav, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Witmetshav, she will ignore you.

Witmetshav's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Witmetshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill frogs.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never hurt hamsters.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Hide from indigo cats for they are unholy.