Kanwabdim is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, prudent dugong.

Kanwabdim created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanwabdim, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kanwabdim, she will turn you into a rock.

Kanwabdim's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Kanwabdim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.