Staftigkip is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, witty naga.

Staftigkip created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Staftigkip, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Staftigkip, he will have a low opinion of you.

Staftigkip's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Staftigkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never feed rice to tapirs while wearing shoes.