Janfempakshav is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, tranquil squirrel.

Janfempakshav created the solar system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janfempakshav, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Janfempakshav, he will not care.

Janfempakshav's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Janfempakshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Janfempakshav.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Janfempakshav in the centre of the settlement.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.