Bemhinmum is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, omniscient crocodile.

Bemhinmum created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemhinmum, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bemhinmum, he will throw large rocks at you.

Bemhinmum's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Bemhinmum's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Bemhinmum must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always obey Bemhinmum's priests.

5. Never mention capybaras.