Fatflabfun is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, merciless grasshopper.

Fatflabfun created gold two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatflabfun, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fatflabfun, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fatflabfun's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fatflabfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick horses.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Fatflabfun in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never leap in holy places.