Wikstanbun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy tortoise.

Wikstanbun created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wikstanbun, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wikstanbun, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Wikstanbun's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Wikstanbun's Holy Commandments

1. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.