Lityarpbif is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, overgenerous crocodile.

Lityarpbif created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lityarpbif, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lityarpbif, she will destroy your home planet.

Lityarpbif's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Lityarpbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chlorophyll.

2. Put Lityarpbif first in all things.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near mice while wearing turquoise rings and balancing eight nickel spheres on your chest.

4. You must love Lityarpbif.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.