Ortlognutt Lipmipceb is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unthoughtful snake.

Ortlognutt Lipmipceb created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortlognutt Lipmipceb, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ortlognutt Lipmipceb, she will destroy your home solar system.

Ortlognutt Lipmipceb's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Ortlognutt Lipmipceb's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.