Tamvabyar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic rat.

Tamvabyar created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tamvabyar, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tamvabyar, it will destroy your favourite star.

Tamvabyar's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tamvabyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of monkeys.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never play with disobedient children.