Bemsanmobhen is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, narcissistic aardvark.

Bemsanmobhen created the Andromeda Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemsanmobhen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bemsanmobhen, he will destroy your home planet.

Bemsanmobhen's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bemsanmobhen's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bemsanmobhen.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not shave your arms.