Gomkimzog is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, uncaring meerkat.

Gomkimzog created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomkimzog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gomkimzog, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gomkimzog's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gomkimzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. You must never eat peanuts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.