Habyikpag is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, blissful rat.

Habyikpag created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habyikpag, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Habyikpag, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Habyikpag's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Habyikpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near manatees while wearing black trousers and balancing eight nickel spheres on your back.

3. Worship no other gods but Habyikpag.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Do not chop down trees.