Lanyogjonquill is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, strong walrus.

Lanyogjonquill created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanyogjonquill, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lanyogjonquill, he will turn you into a frog.

Lanyogjonquill's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Lanyogjonquill's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lanyogjonquill.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never paint your legs pink.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.