Flabcidtab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful armadillo.

Flabcidtab created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabcidtab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flabcidtab, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Flabcidtab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Flabcidtab's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Flabcidtab on top of important buildings.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.