Mutontstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, sage gerbil.

Mutontstaf created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Mutontstaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mutontstaf, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Mutontstaf's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Mutontstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow shirts.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never feed parsnips to sharks while wearing boots.

4. Worship no other gods but Mutontstaf.

5. Erect four iron sculptures of Mutontstaf on top of important buildings.