Tenhitsigwontam is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, awesome squid.

Tenhitsigwontam created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenhitsigwontam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tenhitsigwontam, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tenhitsigwontam's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Tenhitsigwontam's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Tenhitsigwontam loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help swans in need.

4. Never chant near dogs.

5. Run away if four porpoises approach from the south.