Veenbutlik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured tortoise.

Veenbutlik created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenbutlik, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Veenbutlik, she will turn you into a mouse.

Veenbutlik's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Veenbutlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Veenbutlik loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Veenbutlik.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.