Bastartbid is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical wyrm.

Bastartbid created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastartbid, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bastartbid, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bastartbid's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bastartbid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats.

2. Never think about spacetime near mites while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing three copper spheres on your chest.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.