Looptarpnart Yaknegbet is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fast scorpion.

Looptarpnart Yaknegbet created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Looptarpnart Yaknegbet, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Looptarpnart Yaknegbet, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Looptarpnart Yaknegbet's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Looptarpnart Yaknegbet's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are not to be trusted.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Looptarpnart Yaknegbet.

4. Never wear black trousers.

5. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Looptarpnart Yaknegbet in the centre of the settlement.