Gofzimhin is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, pitiless sheep.

Gofzimhin created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gofzimhin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gofzimhin, she will ignore you.

Gofzimhin's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Gofzimhin's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Gofzimhin must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.