Gupflabmet is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty eagle.

Gupflabmet created the Sol system six million years ago.

If you believe in Gupflabmet, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gupflabmet, she will turn you into a mole.

Gupflabmet's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gupflabmet's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gupflabmet nine times a day.

2. Run away if six ducks approach from the east.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.