Gignelmit is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, slow swallow.

Gignelmit created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gignelmit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gignelmit, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gignelmit's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gignelmit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Gignelmit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gignelmit.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.