Tonkvegpanlab is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, humorless narwhal.

Tonkvegpanlab created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkvegpanlab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tonkvegpanlab, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tonkvegpanlab's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tonkvegpanlab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about dark matter.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.