Gadfitnak is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, moody frog.

Gadfitnak created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadfitnak, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gadfitnak, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Gadfitnak's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gadfitnak's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Worship no other gods but Gadfitnak.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.