Higvabyimquafkip is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, cheerful chicken.

Higvabyimquafkip created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higvabyimquafkip, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Higvabyimquafkip, she will jump up and down on your head.

Higvabyimquafkip's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Higvabyimquafkip's Holy Commandments

1. Put Higvabyimquafkip first in all things.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Never wear turquoise shirts.