Cap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, thoughtless meerkat.

Cap created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Cap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cap, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Cap's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Cap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Hide from fawn great tits for they are unholy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always wear brown.