Artnelvid Tarpspagfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, happy skunk.

Artnelvid Tarpspagfoss created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Artnelvid Tarpspagfoss, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Artnelvid Tarpspagfoss, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Artnelvid Tarpspagfoss' most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Artnelvid Tarpspagfoss' Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Artnelvid Tarpspagfoss in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never eat green fruit.