Gebrendag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic gerbil.

Gebrendag created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebrendag, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gebrendag, she will turn you into a dog.

Gebrendag's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gebrendag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

3. Retreat if five cats approach from the north.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Always take life seriously.