Nilcibfunhasjipdankad is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, annoying dog.

Nilcibfunhasjipdankad created carbon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilcibfunhasjipdankad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nilcibfunhasjipdankad, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nilcibfunhasjipdankad's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Nilcibfunhasjipdankad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.