Femwegnak is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful hare.

Femwegnak created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Femwegnak, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Femwegnak, she will turn you into a plant.

Femwegnak's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Femwegnak's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not keep five voles in a large pit.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Never think about quantum field theory.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.