Sanbem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, quiet newt.

Sanbem created the planet Jupiter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sanbem, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sanbem, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Sanbem's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Sanbem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never wear brown jumpers.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory.

5. Always help sick doves.