Pigxenstafpan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, happy bear.

Pigxenstafpan created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigxenstafpan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pigxenstafpan, she will send you a sign.

Pigxenstafpan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Pigxenstafpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not hurt doves.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never mention whales.

5. Always help goats in need.