Rulhoggub is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, compassionate hyena.

Rulhoggub created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulhoggub, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rulhoggub, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Rulhoggub's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Rulhoggub's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine geese approach from the north.

2. Always help sick great tits.

3. Hide if four manatees approach from the east.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Never feed lots of coconuts to cats while wearing brown shoes.