Fubrutkar is a god.

He takes the form of a small, benevolent narwhal.

Fubrutkar created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubrutkar, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fubrutkar, he will turn you into a worm.

Fubrutkar's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Fubrutkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about bacteria.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always obey Fubrutkar's priests.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.