Flambumparkgar is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, passionate tapir.

Flambumparkgar created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Flambumparkgar, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flambumparkgar, she will turn you into a tree.

Flambumparkgar's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Flambumparkgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flambumparkgar.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.