Bedkipvid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, vain fox.

Bedkipvid created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedkipvid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bedkipvid, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bedkipvid's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bedkipvid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Bedkipvid on top of all buildings.

2. Never hurt seals.

3. Do not speak about carrots.

4. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Do not listen to music.