Negjadcun is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic spider.

Negjadcun created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Negjadcun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Negjadcun, he will strike you with lightening.

Negjadcun's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Negjadcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple shorts.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Retreat if nine great tits approach from the east.

5. Never think about chromosomes.