Tomjigyok is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sapient otter.

Tomjigyok created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomjigyok, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tomjigyok, he will turn you into a mole.

Tomjigyok's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Tomjigyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Do not keep nine capybaras in a large pit.

4. Hide if eight bats approach from the south.

5. Always look after injured horses.