Gebbagtaprotboglarp is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, idiotic armadillo.

Gebbagtaprotboglarp created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebbagtaprotboglarp, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gebbagtaprotboglarp, he will turn you into a hamster.

Gebbagtaprotboglarp's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gebbagtaprotboglarp's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Run away if seven moths approach from the west.

3. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Gebbagtaprotboglarp in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.