Fonnatdag is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, tiresome scorpion.

Fonnatdag created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fonnatdag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fonnatdag, she will cry a lot.

Fonnatdag's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fonnatdag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.