Bindangadlap Bonkteenleg Ladcadven is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful clam.

Bindangadlap Bonkteenleg Ladcadven created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bindangadlap Bonkteenleg Ladcadven, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bindangadlap Bonkteenleg Ladcadven, he will turn you into a snail.

Bindangadlap Bonkteenleg Ladcadven's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bindangadlap Bonkteenleg Ladcadven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not kill swans.