Arppakkip is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, conceited unicorn.

Arppakkip created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Arppakkip, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Arppakkip, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Arppakkip's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Arppakkip's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat snails with great respect.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Erect three platinum sculptures of Arppakkip on top of important buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Arppakkip.