Sigtammet is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, cheerful pig.

Sigtammet created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Sigtammet, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sigtammet, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Sigtammet's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sigtammet's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sharks.

2. Always obey Sigtammet's priests.

3. You must pray to Sigtammet seven times a day.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Never wear pink boots.